Lostequine

49 Watchers308 Deviations

9.9K

Pageviews

Latest Deviations

See all

I like to think i dont crumble at your feet by Lostequine, literature

Struggles of an anosmiac by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Struggles of an anosmiac

Could you taste the tobacco on my tongue? When we kissed it tasted like ash Seeping down into my lungs, Choking the oxygen out of my veins. When we touched the blood rushed Faster to my head than any drug I shot into my veins. You were my high baby. Lifting me further into oblivion Than anything else before. Is that how you felt when you left me? Did you get a rush from splitting your veins open? When you died they asked me if i wanted Anything of yours to keep. Materialistic bullshit Like anything you owned would make Your loss hurt less. You made me promise id never let go. Let you go, I should have made you swear too. Swear on your life Or mine. Obviously yours didn't matter much to you. I want to sew your clothes into my skin. To carry a part of you with me. I wish i could smell you, You always told me your cologne smelled amazing. I bet your cigarette smoke mixed with it; And the smell of your breath in the morning. I wish i had something more to hold onto Than just memories. I

I hope you dont read this by Lostequine, literature

Literature

I hope you dont read this

Last night i dreamt of a fairy tale cottage With vines clinging to crumbling brick And lily pads lining the beautiful blue water Surrounding the rivers edge. I sat high in my tower Black and blue spattered Throughout my arms and waist. The butterflies flew through my window And carried me away to a happily ever after I didn't even know could exist. When i woke I cried for a happy ending That I'll never see And held onto my ribs Hoping I could stop myself from splitting apart At the seams. Ive been writing a book on leaving it all behind As if writing about the pain enough times Could make my heart hurt any less And I'm not trying to be typ

Beauty is a meat factory by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Beauty is a meat factory

I cut my wrists into ribbons And tied the silk strings into A life preserver. I wanted to save myself from the pirates crossing the red sea; Drawn by stories of blackened palms and untold misery. I flayed my skin like the split ends plaguing the pitiful strands of hair left dangling from my head after malnutrition ripped the rest of the beauty from my bones. Because if beauty is to starve the meat from my carcass and process me up, ready to eat, than at least let me create something beautiful with the skin I have left Before I meet my bloody fate.

This is war by Lostequine, literature

Literature

This is war

Spitting fire from the tips of our tongues. Our lips are lined with weapons Razorblades slipping past shields Walls we built slowly to protect ourselves. We tore each other apart piece by piece Trapped between four walls with nowhere To run to. Our guards constantly flexed, ready to Protect our minds And hearts. You were so focused on making sure The fight was won, The next best way to tear down Every brick we laid in our foundation; And all i could think about, Was how to make you smile again.

Playing Frankenstein by Lostequine, literature

Conversations with my heart by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Conversations with my heart

“Could you feel when it was over?” “When his lips no longer tasted like salvation I knew then i’d lost him.” We talked over too sweetened coffee and stale biscuits. Your hair done up too tightly, drawing crows lines from your eyes. I missed when your eyes would light up, before you’d been hurt, before you’d been broken. (I loved making them shine, especially with gifts. Proving to you over and over again i knew you, better than them.) “I know i promised to always put you back together. But sometimes i feel like you break yourself on purpose.” “I just can’t help myself. Thin

Let me leave by Lostequine, literature

Its 3 in the morning by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Its 3 in the morning

I asked you to wrap your arms around me One last time For old time’s sake. Like the nights when we first met, And this was new And exciting. When you acted like A boyfriend Instead of a roommate. Fuck buddies you said, We’re complicated, On a break. You wouldn’t be here, If you didn’t want to stay Together. But your mind’s already out The door, Even if your body isn’t. We’re pressed together Hushed in darkness Gently against your chest. I don’t want to give in to you, But my heart doesn’t want to be through; What am i supposed to do without you? How do you live with me but Live without me?

Did it mean anything to you? by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Did it mean anything to you?

I hate looking at you. The way your eyes light When you see me. That little smile. I hate picturing how easy It is for you to fake it. The way your lips never Quite reach all the way To your eyes. How you hold yourself When i try to hold you. When you refuse to hold me. I hate the constant lies. How you know exactly what to say And when to say it. I hate that i believe you, Every time. I hate how good the future looked When you were in it; How bright the plans were. I guess it was all a show. I realized it was all just words to you, When we started getting into the details, And we stopped agreeing so much. I miss not knowing.

See All

Featured Gallery

I like to think i dont crumble at your feet by Lostequine, literature

Struggles of an anosmiac by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Struggles of an anosmiac

This is war by Lostequine, literature

Literature

This is war

Eating my emotions by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Eating my emotions

I ate my heart out today Full off of wasted emotions and regrets of never treating you right. I hunger to be the relationship you speak of to your friends Hoping I'll be who you brag about when you mention me unconsciously This fullness of fortitude I am a fortress of solitude in the wake of your shadow. I am the regret in the back of your mind when you lay awake at night wondering how you got to this point in your life. I am and will always be the mistake you thoughtlessly made On the steps of your rundown house Under your dying tree; I will never be the one you look back to and think "Maybe if I tried hard enough I could get them back."

When will I be your world by Lostequine, literature

Literature

When will I be your world

We are dreamers Wishing for perfection. I watched you space off today While driving towards the sunrise. Only our clothes on our backs Nothing packed in your trunk We did not know where we were going We did not know how far we would drive And at the moment, I felt as though you and me were the only things that mattered in this world. But as I watched you mute her conversation In your phone when you'd thought That I was not looking I realized that you might be my entire mountainside My ocean and my sky But that in your eyes, I am merely a blade of grass In your field of accomplishments. I knew then that this trip was not spontaneous This trip

Suicide note by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Suicide note

This is not a suicide note And you're not my gun Words pulling the trigger I will be stronger than this urge. You are the guilt strapping me down In this doctors chair Your lies are the pills being forced down my mouth. Using a stomach pump to get them out I am drowning in your self hatred And you do not care. You are creating waves and thunderstorms While I am exploring your sea on my lifeboat Hoping I can find fresh water To drink down the truth. Sliding cold regret down my throat This is not a suicide note And that may be a lie but I thought you should know I'm using you as my new method of self destruction And you've become my perfect

You consumed ne by Lostequine, literature

Literature

You consumed ne

I am no longer a solid mass I am liquid flowing through your veins I am the fire of our passion And you are not here anymore And why should I be surprised I watched you pack up last night I watched you leave behind A year and a half of pain and sorrow Of happiness and our first date Me in the ice skates you promising You'd catch me if I fell because the only way I agreed to go out with you was if you Rescued me like a knight in shining armor I didn't realize how big of a task that would be for you Catching me I'm heavy Heavy with my past Heavy with the tears I refuse to release Heavy with the feeling of drowning in this This feeling cons

Maybe getting drunk isn't such a bad idea by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Maybe getting drunk isn't such a bad idea

I'm against drinking alcohol And you're against being in a commited relationship; Let's see who can break their vows first. Marriage seemed like such a petty little thing When you'd first suggested it. And I knew you were just using me at the time But I guess I just let this whole Love Thing Get to my head. So I suffered through your infidelity, And I tried not to think of who's lips you were Stuck on last. You pranced around your family with me, Being the pretty little thing you had Wrapped around your finger, while you, Remained wrapped around my heart. And I guess in hindsight of it all This was a pretty shitty idea To begin with, but, in

Your breath was lava against my skin by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Your breath was lava against my skin

Last night while I showered I wondered how much shampoo I had to drink before I was clean on the inside. I thought maybe if I was pristine within the very depths of my body maybe you'd want to touch me again. You don't seem to want to put your hands on me anymore The way you used to; But maybe that's my fault. My mother always told me that depression is too hard to love And if you cling too hard to the ones you don't want to let go You'll end up driving them away. Or maybe flying I'm sitting here with my tea now staring out the window. Clutching my cup so tight my knuckles are going white Well the insides of my palms are screaming for me to l

Homicide by Lostequine, literature

Literature

Homicide

You committed homicide last night While we lay in bed speaking a language Quiet enough only us two could hear. You set me down between the sheets And whispered sweet nothings Into the hollow of my clavicle. We lied, hoping the other Would mistake the kisses Between our ribs and panty line As love Instead of seeing how hard The other is trying to forget that We lost our love in the cracks Between 42nd and 54th. You forgot to say I love you last night After burying me in the comforter Of our queen sized bed And I wish I could say it bothered me Instead of admitting I couldn't care less About how you feel towards our for-never.